Thursday, March 17, 2005
Wow, the Beauty Salons In Russia Must Be Way More Sophisticated Than They Are Here
Several Russian clinics and beauty salons in Russia are claiming they can treat a wide range of medical problems using stem cells. Patients have traveled from all over the world to receive stem cell "injections," paying upwards of $20,000 or more for the treatment. Of course, the results are negligible, suggesting that this is nothing more than quack medicine. Who would have believed that the mysteries of stem cell research have been unravelled by a beauty salon in Russia? Source
Without a Doubt, This Is a Serious Problem That Needs to Be Addressed
A womens' group in Mexico City is taking some of the city's more elderly prostitutes off the streets and putting them in a retirement home. At least 65 hookers--some of them well into their 70s--will be moved to an 18th century building that will serve as their new home. Emilienne de Leon, head of a local womens' rights group, said, "We have to get these women off the streets, because quite frankly the idea of someone having sex with them is just plain gross." Source
The Only Thing I Can Think of That Would Be More Boring Than Watching a Golf Tournament Is Listening to One On the Radio
The PGA has reached an agreement with XM Satellite Radio, allowing the company to broadcast live coverage of PGA Tour events. XM believes that many listeners will tune in to hear golf tournaments over the radio. In the same vein, they are also adding two new channels to their service: "Paint Drying" and "Grass Growing." Source
Let's Hope This Concept Doesn't Make It to the States
With unemployment numbers at an all-time high in Germany, a new Web site called JobDumping lets people compete for jobs by submitting bids for the lowest salary they would be willing to accept. It's an interesting idea, but there are bound to be "auction snipers" who will bid at the last moment and snatch up the jobs for a few pennies an hour. Source
Let's Hope This Concept Doesn't Make It to the States
With unemployment numbers at an all-time high in Germany, a new Web site called JobDumping lets people compete for jobs by submitting bids for the lowest salary they would be willing to accept. It's an interesting idea, but there are bound to be "auction snipers" who will bid at the last moment and snatch up the jobs for a few pennies an hour. Source
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
And the Award For "Most Embarassing Moment" Goes to...
Postal officials in Chemnitz, Germany were alarmed when a package started to vibrate and make strange sounds. The sender of the package was brought to the scene and the situation was defused when it turned out to be nothing more than the "sweet spot" on a life-size female sex doll the man was returning. Boy, they just don't make sex dolls like they used to, huh? Source
Is She Really the Right Person to Be Giving Out Advice?
Britney Spears felt compelled to open her mouth and offer advice to Michael Jackson, suggesting that he should get drunk and start a bar fight. After making the comments Spears, who becomes more of a hick with each passing day, sat down on the couch for a meal of potato chips and malt liquor while watching a NASCAR race. Source
You Do Know That the Book Is Fiction, Right?
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone has blasted the best-selling book The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, in which several "secrets" of Christianity are revealed. Bertone urged people not to buy and read the book because it's "rotten food." Sales of the novel are expected to increase dramatically now that the Vatican has expressed its disapproval. Source
Actually, I Understand That Turkish Women Are Quite Lovely
A Turkish man, posing as his dead mother in order to withdraw her pension money, was arrested Friday. Serafettin Gencel claims that his mother died of natural causes two years ago and that he buried her body in his basement. A bank employee contacted authorities after hearing Gencel's deep voice. Oddly, his thick mustache didn't raise suspicions because they are common on Turkish women. Source
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Also Being Added: "Blog" and "Cargo Pants"
Webster's Dictionary has added a new word to its latest edition: "wedgie." For anyone who hasn't attended high school in the last century, a wedgie is the act of jerking someone's underwear upwards so it gets lodged in the crack of their ass. It's uncertain whether or not there will be separate entries for "atomic wedgie" and "full-frontal wedgie." Source
Believe It Or Not, This Is Big News In Malawi
President Bingu wa Mutharika has been answering questions regarding rumors that he left his mansion because he was afraid it was haunted. The story was started by two journalists and one government official, who have all been taken away by police for detention. The three have not yet been charged, and the arrest has caused an uproar amongst the nation's journalists. In an effort to put the rumors to rest, President Mutharika has called in expert researchers to investigate the mansion. They arrived in Malawei yesterday in their lime-green "Mystery Machine" van. Source
I Guess She Has a Lot of Free Time On Her Hands Since Leaving Baywatch
Actress Alexandra Paul (Lieutenant Stephanie Holden on Baywatch) was arrested at a protest to save 70 GM cars from destruction. The discontinued EV-1 electric automobiles--Paul's obvious favorite--were being hauled off for recycling. GM says the market for the ecology-friendly vehicles was too small, and it would not resell the cars because they cannot offer support and spare parts. Paul was also arrested several months ago during a one-woman protest against ABC for cancelling The Caroline Rhea Show. Source
The Worst Part Is That He Charged $60 Extra For It
Former dentist John Hall has been charged with multiple counts of assault after allegedly squirting semen from syringes into the mouths of his female patients. Hall disputes the charges, but DNA tests performed on the syringes showed that they contained his semen. Regardless of the evidence, Hall firmly states that the only woman he ever injected semen into was his wife. Source
Monday, March 14, 2005
If You're a Convicted Murderer and Need a Job, Try the State of Nebraska--They're Hiring
The man convicted of murdering Dian Fossey, famed wildlife researcher and subject of the movie Gorillas In the Mist, has a brand new job--as overseer of a mental health office in Nebraska. Wayne Richard McGuire was convicted in absentia by a Rwanda court for Fossey's 1985 murder but never served time because the United States has no extradition agreement with that country. Is this really the kind of person Nebraska wants to take care of their lunatics and nut-jobs? Source
Oh, Quit Being Such a Million Dollar Cry-Baby
When actress Hilary Swank slipped an apple and an orange into her luggage during a trip to New Zealand, she didn't know she was breaking a law that bans the import of foreign plants and produce into the country. The Oscar-winning actress was fined $150, but has chosen to fight it. She's actually sending her lawyers to New Zealand next week to appear in court on her behalf. With a little luck, Swank will have to pay the $150 plus a hefty amount in legal and travel fees. Source
The Town's "Don't Drink and Drive" Campaign Really Lost Steam After That
Roger Ashley, police chief of Middletown, Virginia, was arrested for DUI--while driving his unmarked police car. If that's not bad enough, Ashley was arrested again for DUI later that same day when he crashed his personal car into another vehicle! Town leaders are meeting today to decide whether they should let Ashley remain as chief of police or if they should just shoot him. Source
Hey Baby, Have You Smelled My Balls?
Wisconsin manufacturer Storm Products Inc. has released a new line of high-end scented bowling balls. About 40 different scents are available, with everything from banana to lemonade. But the company says its most popular scents are still "Sweaty, Bald Fat Guy" and the best-selling "Eau de Trailer Park." Source
